DISQUS

Soak Up The Sun · 1 year ago

well, from past experience, I've learnt that speaking about your friends behind their backs in a negative way never is good. I've had experience of a friend who always bad mouthed her friends behind their backs and I've wondered if she ever bad mouthed me. It's normal for people to complain about their friends, but I think it's a problem when it becomes a daily occurence.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Habitual backstabbing is definitely a problem. Everyone has moments of weakness and say things they probably shouldn't; however, as you said, doing it all the time is when it goes to far.

CharliePATpk · 1 year ago

I have long ago not to spend too much time worrying what people say about me (outside of annual reviews at the office).

If I learn that someone has bad mouthed me, then I consider whether what was said is true or not. If it is false, then I give that person the benefit of the doubt that what was allegedly said was badly phrased or misheard. If I hear of it (from a separate source) I then decide if the rumor is worth my concern -- usually not --and only if they are would I confront them. If neither the rumor the person is worth concern, I ignore both.

If what was said about me was true, then I take it on the chin and decide if what is said is worth considering my efforts to rectify/change when weighed against any "damage" caused by the person speaking of it. If only my ego is bruised, I probably will let it go.

Life is far too short to worry much about what other people say about you. Indeed, if the person spreading the rumor is a 'friend', then it is up to me to work even harder at who I consider a friend.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Good points Charlie. Many times it's best to let things go, unless there is a really good reason to address it openly with that person. I think "friends" should be able to confront each other more freely though - if they are true friends, they will hash it out with you so that neither one holds onto hurt feelings or loses trust. When it happens by non-friends though, then I agree with a lot of what you're saying.

Mark David Gerson · 1 year ago

Thought you might enjoy this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=I4C-WwnJazc

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Mark!

Shane · 1 year ago

I've had a lot of eye openning moments over the years due to this but in the end, if they are there to pick me up from Jail then they can say whatever they want!

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Well, I guess we all have our own way to measure friendship...true friends are there for us when we need them.

jackpayne@wixhrs.com · 1 year ago

Interesting piece of introspection. In this day and age of whispered gossip, back-stabbing innuendos, and political correctness, it's hard to see much positive--sadly--about so many supposedly close friendships.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

I think the media reinforces that negativity, whereas in reality I find people to have much more positive attitudes...unless they watch too much TV ;-)

Mo · 1 year ago

I never let it bother me what others might say when I'm in the room or not - I hadn't even given much thought to it until I read your post. A gossiper I'm not - and if I do have something to say to someone, they'll not be surprised.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

It's good that you don't gossip Mo - it doesn't win you any new friends or respect.

Sarah · 1 year ago

thank you for this post. i was looking for quotes on friendship and came upon this. It was like you were reading my mind thought for thought. I hope you don't mind that I posted this on my bulletin, i put your name in as who wrote it. It just speaks of what is going on in my friendships rightnow to a T.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Very glad you stopped by Sarah, and I'm even more glad that you connected with the message of the post. Hope to see you back again soon!